Tomorrow is the day!!!

I just cant believe its nearly here, i feel like ive waited forever and yet its not that long, its 4 weeks to the day since i made my mind up i wanted to have this done. Four weeks is not long to wait for this life-changing operation, not when i think about the misery and loneliness i have felt about myself for the last 20 years - the disgust i felt in myself for a) allowing myself to get so overweight in the first place and b) for not having the will to see any diet through to the very end.

I suppose people go through life the best they can and everyone deals with the ups & downs in their own way. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs, some go through life suffering anxiety & depression, some suffer physical health problems, some have amazing coping mechanisms and seem to sail through. Of course some people are just very lucky in the path of life they choice, or the path that is chosen for them, they make good choices wth careers, relationships etc. Some are not so fortunate. I have made so many bad choices and my answer it seems, was to get comfort from food. I have so much to be grateful for, i may not have the financial security that would make my life that bit easier and i may not have that special someone in my life to share the ups & downs with, but i have 3 fantastic children and a beautiful healthy, happy granddaughter who does literally make my heart melt - and apart form being over-weight i have good health, so for all these things i am eternally grateful.

When i went to see the surgeon for my consultation and he took all my history, he said he could see where it all went wrong. Having 3 young children and all the worries and sleepless nights that go with that, having a difficult relationship, going through separation and divorce, being a single parent, losing a parent, having financial difficulties etc etc, its not hard to see when i look at it now.

I dont want to make this sound like im feeling sorry for myself or to make it sound like im making excuses for how i became so overweight, but i am trying to analyse my life and try to get a better understanding for myself, because that is important to me and will become more important as my journey steps up a few paces tomorrow.